“Ma, when I said I wanted a new Cap and Ball, I meant a gun!”
“What we need in this town is more Law and Order.”
“What we need in this town is more gallows.”
“Well, I guess what we really need in this town is a bigger cemetery.”
“Well, if Tex has four Aces, Ralph has four Aces, and I have four Aces, I figure that one of us is probably cheating.”
“By sundown? I'm sorry, I just don't see how I can do it. I have my horse to shoe, laundry to pick up, packing still to do…. How about if I get out of town by, say, Thursday evening, Friday morning at the latest?”
“Of course I joined the outlaws. They have the coolest outfits.”
“Hey kid, you're too young to use a Chainsaw. How about a nice blender or something?”
“Alright, I want a clean fight. No hitting below the belt. Begin”
BLAM!
“Hmm. Well, that's not quite what I had in mind, but nice shot. It appeared we have a new heavyweight champion.”
“I've never shot a man who wasn't at the end of my bayonet.”
“…and if the bayonet becomes stuck, you can always free the weapon by firing it.”
“How do you expect me to fight with this helmet on? And this ammo weighs a ton!”
“If you can't dazzle them with style, riddle them with bullets”
“…And if you can't riddle them with bullets, fry them like an egg.”
“I would, but my ankle hurts.”
“This war will not end until there is Just Us!”
“It is better to have fought and died, than never to have fought at all…
well maybe not.”
“Don't think of it as being vastly outnumbered, think of it as having a very wide shot selection.”
“Is it supposed to smoke like this?”
“Grenade? Where?”
“For a lasting victory, we must bury their hearts and minds.”
“Join the Army…where everyday could be your last!”
“Listen, when I want your opinion, I'll tell you what it is.”
“I think I'm allergic to war.”
“Once you've pulled the pin out of Mr. Grenade, he is no longer your friend.”
“Who died and made you Lieutenant?”
“Listen, Lieutenant; No food, No fight.”
“Listen Lieutenant, we either do it my way or I'll have to shoot you.”
“Well, at least I have a hobby.”
“Well, you can either surrender…or you can become a human hibachi.”
“Violence is Golden.”
Crunch. Snap. Rattle.
“The only surprise in this attack is that they haven't opened fire on us yet.”
“Well, perhaps you shouldn't have believed him when he told you his gun was empty. He's the ENEMY.”
“Sarge, I've gotten both of my arms disabled again. What are the rules for Primary and Off-Foot shooting?”
“I don't think they'll come out of their bunker…even if we ask them nicely.”
“Have you finished cleaning Gerfel off the tank yet?”
“No retreat, no surrender…most of the time.”
“Boyar hasn't returned from patrol, sir. He's still bouncing around the minefield.”
“How bad am I hurt?”
“Well, we're treating your case as an Impending Homicide”
“The richer you are, the cheaper life becomes.”
“You only think you're winning because you have more guns and more ammunition. We have more casualties.”
“I'll distract him with idle conversation. You blow him up.”
“Don't put off until tomorrow what you can demolish today.”
“He sent his sympathies…postage due.”
“Well, you missed the enemy, but that tree will never be the same.”
“I don't think any of us will ever forget Louie. Ever since the explosion there's a little piece of him on all of us.”
“One more word out of you, and you'll be our next adjustment shot.”
“There's a surprise out there with your name on it. Your name is Claymore, isn't it?”
“Look on the bright side. Dying is the next best thing to living.”
“Sorry, Captain, but it sure didn't look like a friendly aircraft from here.”
“Fine, shoot off my other leg. See if I care.”
“Don't make me blow you up.”
“If all of your friends threw themselves on grenades, would you do it too?”
“Of course they're loyal to me. I have the best troops money can buy.”
“Look, I went off duty 10 minutes ago. You shoot him.”
“I do not consider you expendable. You are just easily replaced.”
“Shape up or get shot.”
“There is no such thing as Overkill.”
“Never admit defeat. Just blame it on someone else.”
“It's true that I don't like you. But being ordered to kill you is just a happy coincidence.”
“Wait a minute. This smacks of Morality and Democracy.”
“How do you expect me to hit anything when they all keep moving?”
“He was wrong, so I shot him. Where's the harm in that?”
Blam. Blam. Blam. Click. Click.
“Stop Police”
“No one ever won a war by spending his economy into bankruptcy. He won the war by making the other poor dumb guy spend his economy into bankruptcy.”
“Yes, we have a high Kill Ratio. I only wish it was in our favor.”
“There is a time and a place for everything, except peace.”
“If you don't shoot me, I'll be your best friend.”
“This whole 'fair fight' thing is nice in theory, but if we actually implement it, we could get hurt.”
“There's a place in this war for everyone. Your's just happens to be six feet under.”
“You want to try to hit many people with one bullet each, not one person with all of your bullets.”
“You're not qualified to supervise. You don't have a whistle.”
“A soldier's life may seem glamorous; mindless violence, endless drill, years of war and gut-wrenching hardship…but there's a lot more to it than that.”
“If the attack works, we're all heroes. If not, we'll get a group discount at the cemetary.”
“I'd like to think I was being shot by a better class of person.”
“Targets can't be choosers.”
“If God hadn't meant them to be stepped on he wouldn't have given me feet.”
“People - you can't live with them, you can't kill enough of them to make a difference.”
“People - you can't live with them, you can't hit them in the head with a ten pound rock.”
“You'll know when I'm talking to you, because my gun will be pointing at you.”
“You'd know if I thought it was your fault because you'd be dead.”
“I've made my decision and I'm standing by it… if that's OK with everyone else.”
“They're shooting back. This is not my idea of a fair fight.”
“Well, Major, I don't think it would be fair to you as a person for me to respect you until I get to know you better.”
“I knew I'd get shot at when I enlisted. I just didn't think I'd get hit.”
“I'm not interested in making new friends. I don't even like the ones I have.”
“Is that an order, sir, or are you just being rude?”
“You may have superior weaponry, but you're also out of ammo, and I've still got plenty of rocks.”
“He who laughs last gets shot first.”
“If I weren't so badly wounded and you weren't so much bigger than I am, I might take offense to that. ”
“You can stop being useless now. The crisis has passed.”
“I wouldn't mind getting mauled by wild animals so often if it didn't hurt so much.”
“You've got the safari hat, so you'll be our animal expert.”
“Why would I want more troops? Some of the ones I have here are still alive.”
“At first it really hurt, like somebody had thrown a spear through my head. But it turned out it was just a javelin.”
“Was that your last bullet? OK then, you're under arrest.”