Curufea's Homepage

This page is read only. You can view the source, but not change it. Ask your administrator if you think this is wrong.
====== The Mis-Adventures of Axly Suregrip ======

"Let me be the judge of that."\\
"This is more fun than looking for the illusion in the china shop!"\\
"How was I supposed to know he was an unarmed man? His back was to me."\\
"I'm too busy worrying about what I've done to think about what I'm doing."\\
"Don't look at me. He wasn't squished like a bug the last time I saw him"\\
"Yes, I was aiming at him, but I've never hit anything with a rocket launcher before, so I didn't think it mattered."\\
"Well...Don't look at me! I'm not the only one who breaks things around here."\\
"It was an accident. No, really, this time it was. Let me explain...."\\
"Captain, the Sea Cucumber has capsized...but the fire's out."\\
"It's OK to abandon your principles, if you're doing right."\\
"Everything here has been blown up, burned down, or broken; my work is done."\\
"If I wasn't here to break things, when would you practice your repair skills?"\\
"If you have enough ammo, it doesn't matter how badly you aim."\\
"I can either stay in and be annoying or go out and be stupid. The choice is yours."
  * Axly Suregrip
\\
"These war dogs just aren't working out. I can't even teach them to sit, and just forget about teaching them to parry."
  * Animal Trainer Axly
\\
"I Quit."
  * Ex-Sheriff Axly, His Farewell Address, given a few minutes before the MacMyer Gang rode back into town
\\
"Relax. This city has been here for a hundred years. How much damage can a few criminals do in only eight hours? Here, have another donut."
  * Officer Axly
\\
Blam. Blam. "Stop." Blam. "Police." Blam.
  * Officer Axly
"Oops."
  * Ex-Officer Axly
\\
"Why isn't Russian Roulette an acceptable way to rally a broken man?"
  * Lieutenant Axly
\\
"In an emergency, it's women, children, and ranking officers first. Not necessarily in that order."\\
"Sometimes I question the wisdom of my actions, but more often I seem to be acknowledging the stupidity of them."\\
"In retrospect, that was a terrible decision. Fortunately, everyone else who knows that is dead now."
  * Captain Axly
\\
"Oops! Adjustment fire, 1000 meters left... No, no, the other left!"
  * Axly, Forward Observer for a Day
\\
"What do you mean our VP might be a little dead?"
  * Axly Suregrip, Officer for a Day. VP, or Vital Personnel, include repairmen, surgeons, and doctors. VP were assigned security teams when in the field.
\\
"If this fire spreads any further, I'll have to get more marshmallows."
  * Soon-to-be-ex-firefighter Axly
\\
"Well, I can't find the jumper cables. We'll have to push start it."
  * Tank Commader Axly
\\
"If you can see it, shoot it. You can always Identify it once it's dead."
  * The Axly Suregrip Philosophy
\\
Blam. Blam. "Stop thrashing, Osgood, give me a clean shot!"\\
Blam. Blam. "That's better."\\
Blam. Blam. Blam.... "Oops."
  * Axly Suregrip
\\
"Well, I knew it was wrong, but I didn't think it mattered."\\
"OK, I knew it mattered, but I didn't think anyone would notice."\\
"Even if they noticed, I didn't think they would know it was me."
  * Axly
\\
"Well, yes, I did it...but it's not my fault."\\
"Alright, it is my fault...but I'm not responsible."\\
"Well, maybe I am responsible...but I'm not to blame."\\
"Yes. I am to blame...but they made me do it."
  * Axly
\\
"Just because it's my gun doesn't mean I'm the one who fired it."\\
"OK, I fired it, but I didn't think I'd hit any civilians."\\
"Well, yes, it did occur to me that I might hit one or two civilians. But I never really thought I would hit all of them."
  * Axly
\\
"I didn't want to shoot him."\\
"Well...maybe I did want to shoot him, but I didn't mean to kill him."\\
"OK. Maybe I did mean to kill him...but he deserved it."
  * Axly
\\
"But if I had hesitated, I could be the dead one now."\\
"Well I could be the dead one if he had been aiming at me..."\\
"...and if he'd had a gun..."\\
"...and if he had been the enemy."
  * Axly
\\
"Axly says the building has two sub-basements and wants a Non-Powered team with ropes standing by."
  * Corwin
\\
"Can we get some Artificial Intelligence for Axly? It would be an improvement."
  * Damien
\\
"On the moon of Alenx, Axly punched a hole through the airlock and stuck this Imperial Lieutenant over it. We left him there, struck to the wall by the vacuum pressure, cursing and kicking."
  * Haft
\\
"Get a squad ready! Axly slipped his leash!"
  * Ipaarb
\\
"Is Axly tough? Yes. Talented? Yes. Brave? Oh, certainly. He is also erratic, irresponsible, accident-prone, and a constant threat to public safety. The trick is to keep him pointed in the right direction."
  * Niki
\\
"Oh, your helmet...Well, while you were unconscious, Axly used you as a rolling battering ram."
  * Palin
\\
"I don't understand, Axly. No one else runs out of ammunition on their Lase Cannon."
  * Sandy Jorden
\\
"This device has survived two weeks in Axly's hands. I think that qualifies it for anything."
  * Sandy Jorden, Senior Technician
\\
"Don't ask me to fix his helmet. It's his head that needs fixing."
  * Sandy Jorden, Senior Technician, about Axly Suregrip
\\
"Look, Axly, if you break that Laser Comm, you had better have a good set of lungs."
  * Val
\\
"I see smoke...where's Axly?"\\
"I see flames...where's Axly?"\\
"I hear screams...where's Axly?"
  * Vladimir
\\
"...and grenades are also useful for digging foxholes, removing unwanted shrubbery, unclogging drains..."
  * Axly's book of Explosives for Pyromaniacs
\\
1001 Popular Rallying Cries\\
Buttering Up Your Superiors and Other Winning Strategies\\
How to Avoid Going into Battle Without Looking Like a Coward\\
How to Blame Others For Your Mistakes\\
How to Get Medals That Should Have Gone to Dead Guys\\
How to Get Promotions that Others Deserve\\
How to Give Speeches Without Really Saying Anything\\
How to Lead When You Don't Know What You're Doing\\
How to Lead Without Getting Shot
  * Available Titles in the Combat Command Series of Officer Training Manuals by Axly Suregrip.