Bizarre Spell Ideas for Fantasy Hero

Also see the Seemingly Silly Things

• Rain of Cows: “It's raining cows! Hallelujah!” This spell causes a downpour of (temporarily) live cattle over the area of its effect. The effect of having one of them land on you is the same as it would be had a cow fallen on you from several thousand feet in the air under normal circumstances. The cows are real, and do not go away at the end of the spell's duration, although you probably don't know where they came from in the first place (or want to) -(Michael Hopcroft)
• Scissors beats paper AND rock: using energy from the Elemental Plane of Sharpness, you can temporarily enchant any blade to make it cut through any desired material other than flesh as though the obstacle wasn't even there. However, it cannot penetrate any form of living flesh (it can cut through a steak, but not a live cow), thus severely reducing its utility as a weapon. -(Michael Hopcroft)
  No Normal Defense (Defense is Being made primarially of Living Tissue; +1/2), Does BODY (+1) for up to 60 Active Points of Bladed Weapons, Variable Effect (any Bladed Weapon power one at a time; +1/4), Usable By Other (+1/4), Lingering up to 1 Minute (+3/4) (202 Active Points); Extra Time (1 Turn (Post-Segment 12), -1 1/4), OAF (Weapon This Spell Effects; -1), Gestures, Requires Gestures throughout (Requires both hands; Broad, sweeping, scissoring motions with the blade and your other hand; -1), Concentration, Must Concentrate throughout use of Constant Power (0 DCV; Must Concentrate on the phrase “One Musn't Run With Scissors”; -1), Incantations (Requires Incantations throughout; I call to thee oh Elemental Plane of Sharpness to endow my blade with the virtue of the most holy of Scissors!; -1/2)
  
• Detect Lie: In a 1 kilometer radius the mage is able to detect anybody lieing at all. Whether it is on a bed, on the ground, beneath the covers or not.
  
• Sleep: Can be used in conjuction with the above spell. Great for insomniac mages. The incantation usually involves numbers and sheep. May require an OAF of “bed”
  
• Blazing Saddles: The ideal spell to stop pursuing cavalry.
  
• Cattletrops: Similar to caltrops, but larger and more bovine. Far less offensive than the Dominion Tank Police version of the Ultimate Deterrant - but the summoned cows find it rude.
  Another good spell to stop pursuit.
  
• Everybody Must Get Stoned: Version 1 inflicnts the effects of severe alcohol intoxication on everyone within an area. Version 2 pelts them with rocks.
  
• Big Bees Clenched Fist: Minor transform - cast before a battle on large groups of enemies it prevents them from holding weapons. Or indeed anything that requires hands other than a fist.
  
• Never-Ending Summon: This spell summons 1,073,741,824 critters. The spell is unfortuately cheaper than one would think, since it will takes 25 years to summon all of them, but still produces roughly 16 1/3 per Turn. Unfortuately the caster had a heart attack and died, but his spell still produces those annoying small blue creatures. Summons 50 point smurf-like critters, 30 doublings (1,073,741,824), 160 Active Points, Independent (-2), Gradual Effect: 25 Years (-3 1/4), Extreme Side Effect always occurs (-2), 1 Charge that takes a Year to Recover (-3), Takes a month of research before casting (-5) 9 Real Points
  

• WTF
  WTFOMG
  WTFOMGLOL: A set of progressively-more-powerful SPD Drains, one turn only, causing targets (in effect) to lose one, two, or three Phases. Requires the caster to fail a Presence roll. Most often uses an OAF, often expendable.
  The ultimate form is WTFOMGROFLMAO and can last multiple turns, but it almost always has a major Side Effect. -()/ * : -()/
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